im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
