I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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