He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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