I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
