it's not cheating when I paid for it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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