Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
