i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
