Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My balls are so social today.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
