he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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