We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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