its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
