Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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