you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
