while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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