Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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