is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
