There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
