so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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