He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
