I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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