On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
tequila makes me forget i have legs
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
