I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
