The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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