I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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