haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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