i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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