You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
