I am full of burrito and curiosity
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
