Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
