Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
