Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
