Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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