the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
