we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
