Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
