Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
