everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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