You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
