Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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