He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
