I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
