Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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