you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
