Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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