I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
organizing the empties. That sober.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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