So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
