Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
