We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
