Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
