I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
